Dear employees, try saying THIS instead of THAT

Dear Employees,

It has been brought to [management's] attention that some individuals have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers. Due to complaints, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. However, we realize the critical importance of accurately expressing your thoughts when communicating with coworkers. Therefore, we provided a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases so proper exchange of ideas may continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f**k you're doing.

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b**ch.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f**k do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f**king way.

TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh**ing me!

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh**!

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my f**king problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f**k?

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh** won't work!

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f**k didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a**.

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat sh** and die!

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a**!

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F**k it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a**!

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This job sucks!